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11/01/2004

 

Phone Calls


It is almost over. I live in a Republican area of a swing State, Pennsylvania, and I've received no calls from Kerry, the Kerryites, the DNC, or George Soros and John Podesta complementing my legs and my nuance.

We received one from Laura Bush's disembodied voice on Saturday, reminding us to vote. I don't recall if she wanted me to vote for anyone in particular, but the surname says it all anyway. Yesterday, Rudy called, dissed JF and praised the President, and called back again to do the same.

The RNC called to remind me not to let the nasty Democrats hassle me at my polling station, which is a nice fire hall with nice ladies inside. When they check my name, it's inevitable: "I think that I shall never see/ A poem lovely as a treeā€¦"

Then the President called, trunkless as the rest, and told me that we had to finish the war on terror, etc. He's not done. The tone of the call reminded me of: "Let's get this out of the way so we can finish what we set out to do."

I'm going to do the Electoral College thaang in my AFTER-WORD at 11p (ET), with a big caveat: I don't do the Electoral College thaang. I cannot read minds, and I do not practice the black arts.

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