The Kerry Cabinet

According to this bit on FOXNews.com, some delegates to the convention are pondering who will be in JF Kerry's cabinet: Bill Richardson at State, Max Cleland at Defense, Bob Menendez at Education or H.U.D.

How're these:

  • Secretary of State: the poet Dominique de Villepin, the former French foreign minister. He knows how Kerry wants to revamp American foreign policy.

  • Secretary of Defense: David McReynolds, longtime activist, former draft evader, and Green Party Senate candidate from New York. "All we are saying…"

  • Secretary of the Treasury: Theresa Heinz. If the deficit seems too large, we can do what Kerry did: take out a loan against one of her houses.

    If selecting Ms. Heinz reeks too much of Kennedy-esque nepotism, how about this fellow who e-mailed me this morning:
    My name is Simon V. Heinz, a member of Independent Committee of Eminent Persons (ICEP), Switzerland. ICEP is charged with the responsibility of finding bank accounts in Switzerland belonging to non-Swiss indigenes, which have remained dormant since World War II.
    He wants me to give him personal info, then I'll have money wired to a numbered account in the Cayman islands.


  • Secretary of the Interior: Al Gore: Stop drilling, mining, burning, and driving! Candles and horse & buggy worked for Andrew Jackson, dammit! (What is the effect of a Blueberry Muffin Yankee Candle on Al's ozone hole?)

  • Secretary of Housing and Urban Development (H.U.D.): Donald Trump: If Kerry spends the treasury elsewhere, Trump can talk the bank out of a few hundred billion. He's very good a borrowing lots of money to build houses.

  • Secretary of Transportation: Teddy Kennedy

    Okay, I won't go there.

    Hey, feel free to add.


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